#i could talk about it forever but yeah :]]
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āø¢This story is for just that one reader.āø„
#im in my yoohankim feels nobody talk to me#asked the squad what kind of sky suited these bitched and they were like āduskā and i was like āfuck yeah i love thatā#but holy shit orv rewired the circuits in my brain especially these three and their sun moon star motif#i could ramble about them forever but aye I'll shut up now#i will never be getting over this novel#feel free to use the wallpaper for your phone just don't repost it or claim it is yours pls thank#yoohankim#orv#yoo joonghyuk#kim dokja#han sooyoung#doksoo#joongdok#joongsoo#myart#anime art#anime fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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whats wrong with ai?? genuinely curious <3
okay let's break it down. i'm an engineer, so i'm going to come at you from a perspective that may be different than someone else's.
i don't hate ai in every aspect. in theory, there are a lot of instances where, in fact, ai can help us do things a lot better without. here's a few examples:
ai detecting cancer
ai sorting recycling
some practical housekeeping that gemini (google ai) can do
all of the above examples are ways in which ai works with humans to do things in parallel with us. it's not overstepping--it's sorting, using pixels at a micro-level to detect abnormalities that we as humans can not, fixing a list. these are all really small, helpful ways that ai can work with us.
everything else about ai works against us. in general, ai is a huge consumer of natural resources. every prompt that you put into character.ai, chatgpt? this wastes water + energy. it's not free. a machine somewhere in the world has to swallow your prompt, call on a model to feed data into it and process more data, and then has to generate an answer for you all in a relatively short amount of time.
that is crazy expensive. someone is paying for that, and if it isn't you with your own money, it's the strain on the power grid, the water that cools the computers, the A/C that cools the data centers. and you aren't the only person using ai. chatgpt alone gets millions of users every single day, with probably thousands of prompts per second, so multiply your personal consumption by millions, and you can start to see how the picture is becoming overwhelming.
that is energy consumption alone. we haven't even talked about how problematic ai is ethically. there is currently no regulation in the united states about how ai should be developed, deployed, or used.
what does this mean for you?
it means that anything you post online is subject to data mining by an ai model (because why would they need to ask if there's no laws to stop them? wtf does it matter what it means to you to some idiot software engineer in the back room of an office making 3x your salary?). oh, that little fic you posted to wattpad that got a lot of attention? well now it's being used to teach ai how to write. oh, that sketch you made using adobe that you want to sell? adobe didn't tell you that anything you save to the cloud is now subject to being used for their ai models, so now your art is being replicated to generate ai images in photoshop, without crediting you (they have since said they don't do this...but privacy policies were never made to be human-readable, and i can't imagine they are the only company to sneakily try this). oh, your apartment just installed a new system that will use facial recognition to let their residents inside? oh, they didn't train their model with anyone but white people, so now all the black people living in that apartment building can't get into their homes. oh, you want to apply for a new job? the ai model that scans resumes learned from historical data that more men work that role than women (so the model basically thinks men are better than women), so now your resume is getting thrown out because you're a woman.
ai learns from data. and data is flawed. data is human. and as humans, we are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, divided. so the ai models we train will learn from this. ai learns from people's creative works--their personal and artistic property. and now it's scrambling them all up to spit out generated images and written works that no one would ever want to read (because it's no longer a labor of love), and they're using that to make money. they're profiting off of people, and there's no one to stop them. they're also using generated images as marketing tools, to trick idiots on facebook, to make it so hard to be media literate that we have to question every single thing we see because now we don't know what's real and what's not.
the problem with ai is that it's doing more harm than good. and we as a society aren't doing our due diligence to understand the unintended consequences of it all. we aren't angry enough. we're too scared of stifling innovation that we're letting it regulate itself (aka letting companies decide), which has never been a good idea. we see it do one cool thing, and somehow that makes up for all the rest of the bullshit?
#yeah i could talk about this for years#i could talk about it forever#im so passionate about this lmao#anyways#i also want to point out the examples i listed are ONLY A FEW problems#there's SO MUCH MORE#anywho ai is bleh go away#ask#ask b#š's anons#ai
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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thereās probably a reason for why the narratorās voice is much more monotone in the original mod compared to the ultra deluxe or even the 2013 version, but. i think it is fun comparing the different versions. It almost creates a greater sense of character growth within the narrator. From a less emotive and more cynical other worldly being to an expressive and more humanly being. non human characters growing a sense of humanity over the course of time and whatnot. ngl, it makes me crazy. I think about the comparison so much, itās just such a fun way to interpret it
#the stanley parable#yeah Iāll throw that into the main tags why not#hi I just woke up#sorry. my soul hungers for tsp content always.#ive definitely talked about thistopic but i surprisingly have not listened to the 2011 mod before#<- was waiting to play it myself but tbh idk when that will be so listening to playthroughs is second best option#also loving the difference in the dialogues hehe#but also i could go on forever about non humans becoming more humans and humans losing their humanity. its just such a fun topic to explore
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hey don't cry. the jeri/rys will never be able to share simple human intimacy. they'll never get to hold hands. why are you crying louder
#im so normal about them!!!!!#<- read one fic that changed his life forever#the axeman is like the minotaur to me#daedelus was locked up in the labyrinth he created yknow#(voice of a guy who is absolutely insane) have you thought about the implications#take my hand. make parallels and be crazy about religion being both the thing keeping them together and the thing driving them apart#boy jerry#girl jeri#nightmare time 2#abstinence camp#definite's ted talks#i could talk about them forever (this is a threat)#my friends are so lucky that they havent seen nightmare time that shit ruins you#you end up thinking about two incredibly repressed christians#im literally insane. do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you understand do you und#no yeah im not gonna be able to do anything but think about them for a while
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Tedās first joint headcanons, please š„¹
Also, imagine shotgunning a hit with Ted ššØšš« š« š«
it's time for the resident stoner to write some stoner!ted headcanons. i feel like this is becoming my staple lmao i love it
cw: drug use (weed), underage drug use and underage drinking (only at the beginning), shotgunning
also i feel like i need to say this but obviously i don't condone doing drugs or drinking alcohol while under 18. this is fictional and all my own personal headcanons :)
ted (and by extension, bill) were 16 the first time they tried weed. they'd somehow managed to get invited to one of their classmates' house parties and at some point in the night had found themselves sat outside in the back garden with a group of people who seemed the complete opposite of drunk and smelled really funky. they'd accidentally slipped into rotation while a blunt was going round, not realising at first that the group was sat in a circle for a reason.
bill was more than happy to give it a go when it was offered, but being the more cautious of the pair, ted was a little nervous. if his dad somehow found out, or smelled it on his clothes later, he was toast. after some encouragement from bill and a few of the others in the circle, he caved.
much to his disappointment, ted didn't actually get high the first time he smoked. he felt more relaxed, but that was about it. he spent the rest of the night slowly sipping on his beer and laughing at/taking care of a very stoned bill. it wasn't exactly an unpleasant experience for him - he didn't cough his lungs up like bill had, it didn't taste terrible like he'd expected it to, and one of the cute girls in rotation had called him a natural which acted like a soothing balm over the simmering pot of nerves still lingering in his stomach.
it wasn't until a few years later that bill and ted became fully fledged pot heads. they'd smoked a little here and there when it was offered, but only managed to get their hands on a dealer's number sometime after graduating high school and moving into their apartment.
ted was designated roller the day they christened their apartment. they'd both attempted rolling before, and while they weren't the best, ted's rolls were infinitely better than bill's; wonky, a little loose and slightly pregnant, but smokeable. needless to say, the two of them got blazed that day and ted actually managed to get high. bill blamed it on his height ("you're just too tall dude!"). they ordered a copious amount of junk food and ended up passed out together on their shitty sofa with a nature documentary on tv.
it wasn't until you came into the picture that both boys actually got good at rolling. ted in particular. not because he wanted to impress you or anything, no way. a cool, sweet, totally bodacious babe who liked all kinds of music, smoked weed and wanted to hang out with him? it was almost too good to be true.
one night with you in particular made ted's head spin.
bill was at work, leaving you and ted alone in the apartment. obviously, ted had already rolled another for the two of you for when bill left - he'd been waiting for a chance to smoke with you alone. it was the perfect chance to make a move.
he'd planned on ordering food, sticking on a movie (maybe a rom-com, girls like that right?), scooting closer to you on the sofa while you smoked and maybe try the whole fake-yawn and stretching an arm behind you maneuver. ted only got as far as scooching closer when you plucked the blunt from his fingers and took a long drag before cupping his cheek, turning his head to look at you so you could part his lips and blow the smoke into his open mouth.
in that moment, ted was pretty sure he fell in love with you.
#ted logan x reader#ted theodore logan#bill and ted#tw drugs#yeah ted is corny as hell. he would totally try that move#guy definitely gets all his moves from shitty romance films and rom-coms#also no matter how much bill smokes his tolerance is still shit. sorry ted but as a tall boi you have a good tolerance rip#i have lots of headcanons i could talk about forever lol#anyway thank you for the ask! <3#w: headcanon.#c: ted logan.#m: ask.
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If being weak is a "sin" in Crocodile's mind, then isn't a painful defeat and maybe even death rightful punishment for it? A punishment you deserve for your crime of "being weak"? That's an intriguing mindset from him because it makes me wonder how Crocodile might view his own past and the things he has gone through? I might not go as far as to say Crocodile "blames himself" for the things he's gone through, as he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who dwells on the past like that. But I do feel like Crocodile has accepted in his mind that things like losing his hand happened because he was weak, and it was his own fault. That he can not blame anyone else for what has happened to him. He fucked around and he found out.
It's just interesting because to some degree, One Piece thematically does agree with this sentiment, this is a world where the strong eat the weak. (One example at the top of my head; Luffy refusing Katakuri's apology when his sister intervened with their battle, saying he should've dodged the attack properly if he didn't want to get hit.) Chaka falling in this scene and being unable to stop Crocodile may lead to the deaths of so many more, including his loved ones, and if that comes to pass, it's is Chaka's own fault. For being too weak. But also Crocodile has twisted that idea; Crocodile is using his worldview here to justify himself and essentially saying he can do this (take over Alabasta and kill a million innocents doing so) and get away with it because he's powerful. When in reality "weakness is a sin" isn't about the survival of the fittest, but how this is a world where the strong are meant to protect the weak. (See: Luffy) (Also how Pell told Baby Vivi in that flashback about how he trains so he can protect the Royal Family; again, he he craves power not to oppress the weak but to protect them)
But, just to get back to Crocodile again, I feel like this worldview might also give us more insight as to how he acts in certain situations post-Alabasta. Like when we see Crocodile towards the end of Miss Goldenweek's cover story, both when he declines to escape from jail and in his Impel Down mugshot, Crocodile has a smile on his face. That really is the face of a man who has accepted his fate, is it not?
"Welp, this is what I get for losing to a child in flipflops"
Or when we see him come collect his debt from Buggy; Crocodile seemed quite relaxed and fully admitted he had assumed Buggy would've ran away before he even got there to collect his money. Of course, considdering his trust issues Crocodile would've been mentally prepared for Buggy skedaddling anyways, but the fact that he loaned the clown money to begin with while assuming he'd probably never get that money back-- like Crocodile knew that was going to happen and he just accepted it. And just rolled with it.
Of course, when things take an Unpleasant, Unexpected Turn, he will blow a fuse. Multiple, even.
Him angy
IDK man this is all just interesting to me
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#No I did not really have a proper thesis for this post#More just that like. IDK although I talk about Crocodile probably having a whole lot of Unresolved Trauma#I don't mean that in a ''he cries himself to sleep every night'' kinda way (doesn't seem like something he'd do anyways)#More in a ''shit changed the way he views the world forever in a negative way'' kinda way#Does that make sense? IDK#But yeah he does seem like he accepts what he has gone through and has moved on from it (taking 'important lessons' with him)#Sidenote I did check what he says in Japanese in this scene and the ''unforgivable'' was added by Viz here. Good localization#Also that does tie in nicely to how Crocodile always seems to have backup plans for his backup plans#How he seems to considder every potential thing that could go wrong and tries to account for them.
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never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn š
#personal#i'm going to ramble and drop it all in the tags#i'd like to have a pity party for myself thanks#the election?#fucked i've just been scrambling for a week now to prepare for the worst that feels like it's rapidly approaching#vaccines updated birth control bought out stockpile of food started passport appointments made tasers and protective gear purchased#banned books put on a wishlist#the holidays?#trying to make them enjoyable instead of so so so triggering#husband's new job?#barely home he's barely home i feel like a solo parent#i'm absolutely drowing at home mainly alone with two toddlers who have found their spirit and resilience and attitude...#the new house?#we've been fighting we are not vibing it's taking forever for me to feel in love with it#we do not get along rn lol#writing? personal time? self care? nonexistent i have no time alone during the day and then i spend the two hours i have to myself at night#fighting sleep and doing nothing#took a shower today and when i got out my eyelash line started burning and then my eyes were burning and then my nose was running and#then my eyes were watering and i could barely open them and goop started building and then they were SWOLLEN to the point where i could see#the muscles bulging and then i couldn't move them left or right#so i drove I DROVE myself to the urgent care#turns out my water has way too much chlorine in it and now that i've started taking hot as fuck and steamy showers it's just made me#susceptible to severe allergic reactions to chlorine?#it's been horrible my eyes are so sore now and they're just now not sopping in goop#and yeah#just...#i live the same day every day and i'm spiraling and drowning and about to go off the rails while also trying to SUCK THE JOY out of the las#month we have before democracy crumbles so#i just wish i had a Daddy to take care of me and tell me things are going to be okay š#preferably a Big Daddy that would let me sleep for days and would bring me food and let me hug and snuggle on him and not talk
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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hey. pspsps. for whenever u need it. hands u a Talk About Yuor Beasts ticket for azrael and kenix. disappears into my shrub again. woe
HELLOOOO HAI. I FINALLY WROTE THIS HOLY SHIT. just to prepare you people, this thing is going to get LONG. EXTRA LONG COMPARED TO MY USUAL OC RANTPOSTS. 57 paragraphs and about ~7000 words. Yeag ^_^ read at your own risk and if you have a Lot Of Free Time Alrightsies? And also if you want to hear about fucked up and doomed little queer guys! I had tried to cover everything about azranix in here so let's goooo !!!
okay so first of all i will Definitely be reusing some of the old info i have already said about them before because Yeag ^_^ it is definitely needed for context for all the other people that have been following my blog and never read my previous rant posts. And those who just Never Saw Said Oc Posts dhehdsh just so this all would make some sense
and God. i've had kenix and azrael for abouttttt 2+ years by now i think ? ? and their story have changed a lot but GOD they still have such a grip on my soul.,,, cannot think about them without being Plagued very intensely and extremely and severely. they were this one Thing but then their dynamic and relationship evolved and so did they as people and it makes me So Sick of them soemtimes i swearrrr.. . .
so to start off! yeah the already known thing is that they're part of the seven deadly sins order of characters but to make it easier i'll just call them either sins crew or seven sinners. For my own Convenience. The concept of the sins crew is that they are mirroring the main original timeline cast. While the main cast is blessed by the divine in the name of keeping peace of their perspective duties. the sins crew Unfortunately did not get such treatment. To be part of the sins crew is to be abandoned by the gods above Basically. which is exactly their fate! they have curses and not blessings and. to make it short that's just how they have been punished for even having desires! Quite Unfair,, , ,
each of them have their own perspective sins and here, azrael and kenix have envy and lust as their assigned sins respectively. each of their actions that lead to this point are represented by said sins ofcourse but in their own ways (so No not That kind of lust for kenix i know please do not) i think i have explained all the needed context before i get to both of them on their own and then together ^_^ firstly i'll explain azrael because Yeag.
azrael is kind of. Complicated to say the least. a living weapon of some sorts! grown up in a hostile environment where the sole goal was To Win. there was little importance in personal happiness because it was all either to kill or to be killed. and he just grew tired of it yk? his hands only knew the warmth of blood and not the warmth of an another person. A dull and terrified view on life. He could only yearn to know how it is like to live normally without having to worry about being someone's next target.
and then there was someome who knew such happiness. a nameless girl, so full of life. just like him, she had no name from birth. Only a serial number. But yet. She was someone that had no worries like he did. Someone who Had So Much. stood right next to azrael. It felt unreal. Like a dream! A false scenario because surely! Surely that kind of bliss wasn't possible in his world! and yet. Yet. someone knew that feeling that he wished to knew the warmth of himself. Was right in front of his eyes. But he also was envious of her to some degree deep down. envious that she had what he yearned for his entire life while working with these bunch of assassin-esque people. but also!
it is very very safe to say that she meant Everything to him. Like how could she not? her attitude changed his worldview on such a fundamental level that azrael was. Fully convinced that he wouldn't be able to exist without the bright colors she intergrated into his life. spending all of his time with her. her happiness and optimisim was everything he needed. It (the whole relationship) wasn't even exactly anything to Her. like both of them very much saw each other as friends! but azrael meant something different by friends Me Thinks,, , , more like a person that he committed himself to.
"oh you are my friend and i am yours? okay then you have my devotion now. We are Friends and More Than Friends at the same time now :)" like they had something Very Intense and at the same time so one-sided. which is Unfortunate for azrael because! Wow my dude you trusted someone So Much you have let your guard down! Bad Choice my guy! because now it wasn't azrael who was the target. It was her. the nameless has been seen with him so many times that she was in danger because of him. and since he has let his guard down it led to. You know. Her death eventually happening.
the loss of the nameless girl not only broke azrael but changed his worldview once again. Because now he wasn't just apathetic to the entire world around him like he used to be before she appeared in his life, but he despised everything about the world. he was so jealous because now seemingly everyone had everything he had ever wanted! that source of happiness! something he had just mere moments ago! the warmth of blood on his hands coming back to haunt him!
It felt nauseating to see others have that joy. and in a series of overthinking it all, he came to the conclusion that. The others surrounding him have decided to keep happiness a secret from azrael. they were all on it. They knew what they were doing when she died. it is like they have purposefully taken the girl whom meant the world to azrael away from him! but of course how could he not see the truth that was displayed in front of his him this whole time!
coming to that conclusion utterly broke everything azrael knew and built it all anew. His envy was ever so clear to see. he knew that the people surrounding him wanted him to keep being envious of their joy. And so he just decided to ruin it all for them! after all. how come they get to have such happy moments while he has to be left behind in the dark, destroying his youth away for this constant cycle of death to keep going in circles on and on? it felt so utterly unfair to him. There was no use to continue doing what he always did when there wasn't a reason to keep doing it from the start besides living. and how could he live now without the person he treasured by his side?
in the end, his envy of others spiraled into a huge breakdown and caused him to go on a rampage. there were no exact names as his targets, only what his heart and shattered mind told him was the target. and that whole ordeal lead to quite a lot of deaths. ranging from people who at least were azrael's enemies from the past to some degree to innocent bystanders of the world who didn't know that azrael even existed
he found weird comfort in their deaths. Like "wow. i have finally gave in and destroyed what only worsened my misery and envy.. .," he kind of just, , did not feel sorry at all for the murders. even relishing in them in a ?. ? Way. but it all came back to stab him in the back. And Quite Literally too! that is what lead to his death and now his current state. being cursed and with the sin of envy being forever carved into him as a person, his jealously turned into pure venom. like Actually. he has venom running through his body, created from the purest desire for happiness. A man now destined to roam afterlife, forever seen as the pure embodiment of Consequences
so spiteful. so hateful at his very core. although he may be hiding it, but the Venom is present and is very obvious when you look closer into it! his only way to deal with this is to be distant from people. there is no reason to be conversing with the beings that once saw him as such a lowly being. azrael's way of thinking this through is just. Very confusing to say the least. he acted upon his desires but tries to rationalize them at the same time. trying to show that he doesn't care. No he doesn't care. . at least he is convinced so but Truly it is just ?.?? it is clampicated to describe for him. Or something
and now about kenix. Oh god This Dude Man. kenix is Incredibly Fuckjng Complicated as a person man. To start off, i will refer to him as his real name (Yi Dal) sometimes alright? kenix is Very Much a very deeply troubled guy that just represses such feelings. ever since he was born, he was in the dark. Metaphorically and kind of Literally?. since he was a child, he had the whole thing between him and his parents and just His family in general. which was Just Good Fucking Lord how much Inferior he felt to them. he was mostly, if not all the time, reduced to a "servant" for the family. which really contributed to him trying to seek value in himself through being useful to his family
obeying all the orders from his family? No questions asked, although it may hurt, he will at least get some attention. No matter positive or negative. he really just. didn't have a say in anything. for both of the parties, it is all just listening to what he is told to do. And his parents and siblings made that decision consciously. there was never any reason for him being neglected. not that kenix even knows of one! but it was like he was destined to be unacknowledged by them.
kenix was scared to take up space, because what if they find something to be angry about? Something to scold him for? Something to hit him for once again? he may be seeking attention but not in the form of being yelled at or having objects thrown at him. such treatment is still terrifying to him to this very day, a haunting memory at best. He genuinely felt like a little tiny being not deserving of attention with how obvious it was that his siblings were favored far more than him.his parents' treatment towards him made him think that he doesn't have the right to exist in this place without value or a purpose.
the neglect coming from his parents, the humiliation from his siblings. the embarrassment of being treated like a stranger whenever the family was in public. all of those factors reinforcing the idea that kenix is nothing of importance or relevance into his consciousness. kenix really just wanted to be free damnit.he yearned for it, he prayed for such salvation to come save him on a random day of his life but there was. No response as expected. he had never properly felt the warmth of the sun and freedom, only the cold air in his room at night. feels kind of suffocating in here, doesn't it? such a sheltered view on the world. It really is No wonder that kenix wished to escape this place. lacking social interaction and awareness of the outside world, , A shame, really
yi dal had been planning his escape from this god forsaken household for so So long, and he has finally been able to execute it when he was still a teen, about 17 years of age. An opportunity so perfect it truly felt unreal to him. An opportunity to finally feel the fresh air for himself forever and ever? you mean it you mean it you really mean it ?? <- deep down he was so Hopeful man. Man. the first time he was outside in nature by himself?? oh yeag. Yeag that felt like heaven that he himself couldn't believe in. feeling the grass beneath him, the light wind in his face, the chirping of the birds sitting on the trees. what else could he have possibly been missing out on? neither kenix or i know how he has survived about 16 years alone as a 17 years old guy with no social skills or concept of how the world really worked. he did make a fool out of himself but. He got the hang of it! Kind of! Normal social life was hard to get used to but!! ^_^
it truly was impossible for him to predict that at the age of 33, he would be found by his siblings and eventually tracked down, oblivious to what was planned for him. poor poor yi dal. only barely made to his early 30s and yet There It Is. Him laying on the floor, completely devoid of his ability to move his body. a small puddle of blood. Was it his blood? Was the blood of his brother he had manage to stab before being paralyzed? no reason to ponder that now, for he could only watch what was about to happen to him and. That was The Most amount of fear he had ever ever felt in his life. nothing could come close to how he felt when he saw his sister holding something in her hands, his brother following behind her. there were so so many things they could do. and it scared him on such a deep level that he didn't even know existed.
there he is now, a dead man walking and roaming the afterlife. the difference between him and azrael is that kenix acted upon his deepest desire only after he had been killed. the desire to avenge himself. to feel what it was like for his family. to be one of the higher-ups. To finally feel Superior. lusting for power in a way that breaks his morals (hence why this guy is assigned lust as his sin). a desire so strong it basically just Breaks Him Completely. In a way that leaves him so vulnerable that just. Makes him so easy to take advantage of. Disturbingly Too Easy. And that is exactly what fucking happens!!
"prometheus", or well, ephai is at fault here for that. no longer having a physical form, they saw a vessel so perfect in what was left of kenix. A soul that has been shattered into pieces since the start. Kind of. He needed just a little bit of a kick to fall over the edge and never come back to what he was. And they have seen it as an opportunity to prove the existence salvation to kenix. You Know. The guy that even fully gave up on religion and "salvation". And it worked of course it worked on kenix that Little Hopeless Thingā yeag. I could go on and on about kenix and prometheus but this is about azrael and kenix not these two's toxic relationship
prometheus is the key to kenix achieving his goals and in a moment of desperation. When he was offered a chance to avenge himself. To strike back at the people who degraded him the most. To feel in power. He didn't even hesitate to agree to the offer which lead to a little "contract" of some sort happening between them and that's just how kenix has been cursed. kind of like being oblivious to the fact that the salvation he was promised was a punishment in disguise. but it's not like he cares now.. . he has stolen fragments of powers from all kinds of divine beings, all for the sake of fulfilling his own wishes. trading his sanity for power. to the point of almost worshipping the one who has given him this opportunity and making ephai to be a divine entity
kenix himself though, is now more than just a god-like being. he is the flow of time himself. But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfucker! You are Not Alone in this! because to keep existing like this, he had to take the body of an alternate timeline version of himself. Which just so happened to be the Yi Dal from the main cast's timeline. Who was already part of the main cast. And so essentially while taking over Ken's body, he had to replace him altogether unless they switch hosts. which kenix forbid to do because Good God he doesn't want ken to have anything Really. reasons that i'll get to later because Yeag ^_^ another problem is that prometheus is Also There with them. a third wheel or something so no you got 3 whole separate people in a singular body
so now kenix got himself stuck in a situation where he has to keep up a kind of play. Not pretending to be the version of himself he has replaced per se, but to always appear calm, continue to be soft-spoken and amicable with a formal attitude. because such etiquette and manners are what have enforced into his subconsciousness by his family while he was still living in that household. The manners that have been engraved into his mind by his own will. The facade of not caring about his surroundings. He destroyed his chances to live normally for the sake of his desire. so now kenix just has to pretend that everything is fine when really. Really. he never felt like a person, let alone an indepedent one. it is always him being the shadow of someone else and not seen as someone of his own. previously being the shadow of his siblings and now to be the shadow of ken because. Kenix is not perceived as his own self. Not that he has an identity really! But we will Also get to that later ^>^
now to finally talk about azranix together. their relationship had a pretty Rough start i'd say. Like it wasn't bad! But with azrael's decision to purposefully distance himself from others.., it was Hard for kenix to get closer to him without exactly going against his boundaries. Yes, he did pay attention to when he was getting far too close for azrael's comfort. for what reason did kenix even try to get closer to azrael? Well You See ^_^ he just wants to playfully mess with someone! No other reason! Just innocent little teasing that's all! but both of them have started to note. A lot of things about each other. with azrael's distrust, he was very wary of everything single move coming from kenix. And kenix well just. Tried to notice all the details there are about the person he pursued to know. pure curiosity if you could say that. to azrael there was always Something that was off about kenix and to kenix there was always Something about azrael that peaked his interest.
at the start with how used azrael was with seeing people as some sort of assholes trying to ridicule him, he looked at kenix with a bit of disdain. What if he was also one of such people? Why would he try to seek azrael out of all people? There is that sense of cautiousness that haunted him and his actions. and kenix ultimately decided to become a non-threat in azrael's eyes. otherwise how could he get such an interesting and peculiar person to trust him? to lose on such a great opportunity? no! he had to do it. He Had To. (no no it's not for any particular reason you see, it is just. .)
with every single encounter they have had, azrael just kind of like. Questioned everything about this guy! What Is His Problem! Why Is He Trying To Pry On Me! and so on. and with enough amount of times of them meeting each other in various places, azrael just went "fuck it, i'll try to get the answers to my questions straight from him" and such thinking led him to the Confrontation part. with his frustration present, he really just could not wrap his head around the fact that someone wants to know more about Him. that someone would even find Him interesting. he is trying so hard to avoid such relationships for the sake of himself and. Others to some degree. That an idea that someone once again would want to be a companion to him is just a Bizarre Concept. and kenix answered his questions, albeit not exactly. only a smile and "Wouldn't you want a friend yourself, in this place?"
which is exactly what was needed to crack azrael's front, even just a tiny bit. perhaps kenix was right. this place was Lonely. So Incredibly Lonely. maybe even reminiscent of azrael's past. and that made him realize just how much worse the situation was. to finally be aware of he had to stay here like this for hundreds of years, if not thousands. If not for all eternity. Destined to slowly disappear into thin air. with a few other people who are just like you by your side. a reminder that everything that could've saved you has Abandoned You. Even the divine above have abandoned you. A reminder that there is no one. And nothing. that is coming to save them. He is Alone. And Will Be Alone. his decision to distance from his only source of human interaction has always been a self-fulfilling prophecy of him swallowing his own venom. denying himself everything out of envy and hatred that is wallowing inside him. like a serpent on his shoulder. azrael is just a self-fulfilling prophecy of self-destructive at times that it is like Hey Dude. Please Don't Continue To Do That.
realizing just how fucked up everything in this situation is possibly may have made him just a tinyyy bit Desperate. more willing to finally open up to others a little. more accepting of letting people into his life. It is so fascinating that a single question from kenix is what managed to change his mind. azrael letting his guard down after so long! truly a miracle that we Cannot tell the aftermath of. and thus azrael has started to seek kenix out on purpose while still noting more things about him. Trying to figure him out like what kenix has been doing this whole time, you know? if kenix gets to pry on his life, then azrael might as well just do the same
it was a slow, slow way of actually getting to know each other at a deeper level because kenix. Like always. has tried to keep his past and his general life a secret. A mystery of some sorts. he wasn't really an enigma, azrael just. Never could figure out things about his family, his past life and what else has brought him here like the rest of the sinners. there were always moments about his story that he always left out on purpose. he never went into detailing anything he explained about himself. giving azrael only (mostly) surface level bits of information about himself. and azrael well, did much the same because he still felt that kenix shouldn't be trusted fully.
despite all that, azrael and kenix did manage to start bonding more! they both learned more about each other's story and felt. Sympathy for each other's struggles. as well as bonding over facing the same Horrorsā¢ each day and they just had to learn to get through it together. To survive the troubles with each other by their side. learning more about each other through such dangerous encounters with the unknown things unable to be communicated with. having to find comfort in each other's presence if you understand what i'm trying to convey here. which then evolves into far more intimate moments being shared between them both where one helps the other with his problems and their opinions of each other turning into "ohh so we are one of the same to some degree. then i'll trust you more because i have seen you struggle with the same problems i have in the same way i do"
with the circumstances they were in, they got attached to each other's company Pretty Easily. considering how both of them severely lacked such companionship in their lives. it was a change of pace for the both of them For Sure. after years and years of being together, the trust they built in their relationship was Incomparable to anything else to be honest. they knew each other so so So long that it is now like both of them wouldn't be able to get anywhere without each other. they both had their own reasons for pursuing each other in this sense in specific but for kenix. it always was a desperate attempt for find someone to be there for him covered up as curiousity. kenix has always and Always followed orders his entire life, at first from his family now to listening to whatever prometheus whispers in his mind. his decisions always had this underlying tone of not being by free will. he does what he is told to do.
But trusting azrael and trying his best to be a trustworthy person in his eyes is the first decision that kenix has done by himself. It was his own free will which wanted to befriend azrael in specific. clinging onto him, knowing that azrael could be the one person to understand his troubles. kenix is very much aware of his fate being abruptly ended at some point and he knows that it will come soon. It is only a matter of time. following the orders of prometheus is the only way he can buy himself time to survive. Because he Needs to.
He must persist and keep living. he grasped at the concept of him being allowed to live only if he brings value to others for this long that. he just couldn't bear the thought of becoming Nothing if he wasn't anything of such value. seeking attention and validation through all means possible. all of his terrific actions had no reason other than desperation for recognition behind them. A villain who seemed to be enjoying all of this has only done this for the sake of surviving an another day.
Yet. every time kenix wanted to actually open up to azrael, it turns into a blockage in his throat. Unable to speak up, becoming a voiceless being of some sorts., , the reason being the fear of rejection in his soul. Kenix had to grasp at anything that would've given him a purpose. being prometheus's vessel was exactly done out of that desperation he wasn't even aware of. without the facade, kenix is No One. there is No One behind his carefully curated formal facade. Nothing but an incoherent mess. kenix lacks an identity. But the lack of it, then, is his identity: nothingness, absolute null. All of his emotions and feelings have always been repressed and they continue to be repressed even now. So no matter how hard he tries to differentiate himself from others, he'll end up being someone unintentionally because there is No Originality in him. And that is exactly how there is nothing about his real "self" that he thinks people would want to stay for.
with how much kenix has been repressing his emotions, discarding them and thinking of them as "fake" because he thinks that anything he felt emotionally is a lie. Because he built his whole self on a lie. A lie that he wanted this. he has now managed to lie to himself. thinking that the affection and love he holds for azrael is not real. That their bond is not real. That if he tried to show what he has been hiding behind his front for years, he would drive azrael away from him. When their relationship very much is real! kenix has no idea how to tell what was true and what was fake in him apart, so he just decided to think that everything he feels is a lie
yet. The repressed feelings, the suppressed emotions. They're all still there. Forming an incoherent mess inside of his mind and body. but even then without that mass of emotions, there is nothing else about kenix that is distinct. pure nothingness. and it Truly Scares him to even think of a scenario where azrael finds out what hollow husk of a man kenix is beneath his facade. The fear that azrael would be disgusted. That he would see him as a lowly creature. so kenix can never be truly honest about himself with azrael out of fear that the only person who understood him will leave. he tries to be so careful when talking to azrael lest he would let something about him slip. he can't just lose someone him, no.
but azrael is patient with him, he always has been. he shall wait all the needed time until kenix finally gathers the courage. he may not know what kenix has been meaning to tell him this entire time, but he can see his attempts ever so clearly. kenix is trying his best and azrael wants to make sure that kenix knows that it's alright. azrael may not be an overly kind and positive person but. If it means that someone who needs to be reassured will hear it. Well then. . . yet kenix could never be able to wrap his head around how that could be true. because of how much he was used to the lie he convinced himself with. he has told himself the same thing over and over again so many times that finally being told the opposite truth is just Shocking to him. the fact that someone doesn't want him for his value but for who he is a person
to bring back a previous point, kenix's problem with ken too, is just how much ken makes kenix realize that he is the extra one of the two. Ken had a normal life, he had a normal family, he had everything, ken had it all !. and kenix had nothing to himself. All of it - stolen. it is not even his own physical body, but the body of the original. he is perceived as someone else, he is not distinct from that someone at all in the eyes of others. despite all of his attempts to show himself as an independent person, he will forever be considered. A shadow of someone else. a shadow of the original and it pains him. and now azrael and the other sinners are the only people to ever treat kenix like a person. not like he is somebody else. But his own self. And he couldn't be more grateful that they do. That Azrael Does.
yet he can't be honest. No. No that would destroy everything he has built. everything he has worked for. but the desire. The wish to stay true to the only person he ever would consider being honest with. it has only grown stronger. The reason why he hasn't managed to tell azrael anything is solely because kenix simply felt like it wasn't the time. it will never be the time. so his one and only option was to finally tell azrael his real name. Yi Dal. although it doesn't seem like much, azrael understood the importance of this to kenix. from connecting the pieces of kenix's past story from everything he has ever told him, he could figure out that kenix only has bad associations with his real name regarding his past.
maybe. Just maybe. he could change his view on his real name, the same way kenix changed his view on his surroundings. To become the positive association that is worth remembering whenever kenix is referred by his real name. To be that something to look back at fondly.
And then the Creatureā¢ phases come around with each of them turning into some sorts of fucken beasts ^_^. the cursed forms that in all shapes and forms represent their desires and their inner selves. for each sinner and other curse bearers, these forms are different. but for azrael and kenix.
azrael's form is completely unable to speak in full sentences. it barely speaks Actually. seeming to be straight-forward but it only just shows how azrael was not able to speak out what he thought. he was all action and no talk. which is exactly how his rampage started. he only came to conclusions from so much overthinking and hasn't tried to communicate with anyone. he just thought ot everyone as a traitor and shallow people. it really highlighted just how much he trusted his jealousy and envy rather than confirming things for himself
yet the creature seemed. More over fine with kenix's presence. Like he wasn't just a little friendly being to him! he still lashed out and acted irrationally because this form reflected on azrael's loses and overthinking that jumps straight into conclusions! but he still acted less aggressive with kenix. he didn't need to overthink his actions because of the trust he has in kenix. a bond that was stronger than the envy whispering all sorts of things into his ears. He Knows that he doesn't have to doubt him. yet he is Stuck in this box. a labyrinth of constant hesitation to Trust not only others but himself too. he wishes to free himself from such shackles but it is hard. it has always been hard to let go and change his mindset when it always was his only defense mechanism from being hurt. all of these struggles shaping themselves as a scorpion, a serpent, a venomous creature. something that symbolizes hidden danger. and yet, kenix has found beauty and something to love in such a devasting depiction of his partner. the purest way to show what he truly felt. how much he just hid this somewhere inside of himself. something that he couldn't help but feel pity for
and kenix shall do anything to prove that even then. it's going to be okay. he knows it's okay. azrael has always told him it is alright to feel like this, so surely he meant it for everyone? all struggles will pass eventually and you'll become stronger than ever, that's what azrael has told him a long time ago. even if kenix doesn't see a future for himself, he wants to make that promising future for his only love. To help him become resilient Together. He knows that azrael can do it, he had been through so much. he know he could get through this as well and break free from the curse.
and as for kenix's cursed form and the overrall story it is. So much more .? ?. his cursed form is much more bizarre compared to others. a constant variation of geometrical shapes and other possible physical forms, emiting a some sort of glow. He has lost all of his human characteristics. The true form of his self. the mass of emotions and feelings that have been repressed for decades, even centuries, has finally spilled over. creating a mess out of himself. A fool now no longer bound to a facade but is now letting all of that anguish out. so much madness, frustration and sorrow suppressed in him that is now out in the open for everyone to see. a being no longer able to communicate, for he has turned into something that is only capable of Wails. Sobs out loud. Muffled screams of agony. so many emotions he had yet to properly address yet that it is all coming in as an overwhelming wave of terror. he can no longer hide himself beside a neatly made front
a seemingly unapologetic "villain" reduced to a sorrowful creature. a being so clearly desperate for freedom. to know who he is. to finally be free from these principles chaining him to a life of silence until his death. he feels that his demise is coming soon. and he can't do anything about it. for now he can only be a hostile monster. a vessel, a prophet for prometheus's salvation. because this was planned to be his end a long long time ago. this was his purpose. his only value. once this is done, he will be gone for too. finishing his duty, being allowed rest. despite how much he yearns to keep living. but kenix has always been about acceptance. acceptance of his fate. This Miserable Fate
yet azrael found himself only feeling sympathy, for this was the moment that he has finally learned about his partner's true feelings. and it hurt to hear someone so important and dear to him wallow in pain and anguish like that. that version of kenix was a hostile being, but he still so clearly needed help. he needed the courage to overcome this. to break free from prometheus's influence over everything he did because he never had confidence in such actions. and azrael wanted to help with just that despite their current barrier where they cannot understand one another. just like kenix helped him, he wanted to help kenix create his own future to look forward to. without death. with azrael by his side. to survive. to keep living just like kenix desired to this whole time.
the end of their chapters as cursed beings meant that the both of them could finally experience relief together. a moment of Bliss. the realization that it is over. they get to exist, unshackled from the burdens that once plagued their minds. a possibility for salvation. a chance to live without being bound to their past or their inner desires. just peace and tranquility, their one true wish
But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfuckers! Y'all forgot this shit was a death timeloop! With how i previously mentioned that the actual protagonist of the story, Yaku, has started a timeloop rooted in the desire of saving what meant the world to him that was dying at the end of the journey. The same kind of important people who cruelly had their lives cut short. And The only other character aware of this timeloop was well. Kenix! with this sudden ending of lives for most of the casts, azrael had also became a victim to these abrupt endings.
having to witness his love's life fade away before his eyes, it is only natural for kenix to also be shocked at the situation that yaku is also stuck in. and this scenario is exactly how yaku became the last one to be cursed, his curse rooted in his one biggest desire. a selfish deed covered up as an act of selflessness. their timelines' restarting, the flow of time now looping on and on until yaku manages to save everyone from these deaths
kenix had no control over this, he was forced to watch the protagonist and his nephew descend into madness over a singular goal. while also having to relive his entire life over and over again. a cycle of misery for everyone involved. the others would never be able to realize that this was a timeloop, so the first and the original time they had done this. Has became their script. that everyone, including kenix, had to follow until the end
of course in the first few loops, kenix had also tried to do everything in his power to ensure that his friends. that azrael. would be safe from their gruesome demise. yet their endings had already been written as part of the unchangeable fate by the forces above. neither kenix or yaku had a chance at succeeding. despite kenix's own attempts to save his partner, there was nothing he could do. he could only Watch how his impending doom was slowly getting closer
it was Painful. he could see azrael, he feel him, talk to him, interact with him in general just like normal. yet it wasn't him. no that could never be azrael ever again. that azrael felt surreal. abnormal. like he was programmed beforehand. there was nothing new about him and he felt so Off. Because kenix was aware that this is just the repeating of their original story. it's like he talked to someone playing pretend. his original feeling of "this doesn't feel real (positive)" when he first met azrael has turned into "this doesn't feel real. (derogatory)" kind of feeling. seeing azrael like this was just tormenting. a painful reminder that he will, one day, leave him not by will. and kenix will have to learn to live without him
to live without the person who had shown him love and how to love for the first time ever. a someone who had changed the course of his life so much. brought down what kenix had thought of the world and built it anew. keeping his silence about the truth because now. it was the only the thing that he could never ever tell azrael. what he had seen that day. None of it. for his sake.
perhaps, if they had never met here. if they had met at a different time.
In short, they are so fucking Doomed.
smth smth. Yeag. Good Fucking Lord They Make Me Sick
#there are so so many things kenix wants to tell azrael. yet that fear lingering in his heart that becomes the obstacle in his throat.#kenix is scared of rejection by the only person he loved but azrael never would reject him in the first place.#azrael had always been a guide to him in the situations that seemed like they had no way out of.#knowing that he always had someone to rely on. someone to come back to and greet kenix with open arms.#while kenix was something else for azrael. That someone that brought joy to his life. Like the nameless girl.#azrael will always seek out kenix. he'll find him through any means possible. to make sure that he's safe#he doesn't want to repeat his reckless mistake after all.#this is not even talking about how they both take care of the same 12 yr old girl (sora) who is part of the sins crew#essentially becoming her parents. growing even closer to each other#this whole thing is why i like the idea azrael and 2nd main story arc kenix interacting.#kenix in a far better state of mind still grieving the loss of his beloved people. getting to see that one special someone again#a bittersweet thought.#however. kenix would no longer ever seek that kind of love with someone else. what he had with azrael Was Special#forever immortalizing it by keeping azrael's ring he had gifted him and remembering his partner.#to find someone else is to betray his only love. And he could never bear the thought of having to live with that#azrael may have been deleted from this reality with no one else to remember him. But kenix will forever keep him in his heart#perhaps if things were different. they could still be writing their next chapter together.#but i guess there's no point in lamenting about that now Huh?#okay but actually. CRYING AND SOBBIJG AND POINTING AT THEM. GOD THEY MAKE ME SO SAD.#āthey had such a close bond that they meant everything to each otherā āyeah idk man They're So Fucking Gay For Each Otherā#yomo ocs?!#yomoart#ocs#kenix#azrael
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Between Sonic and Tails, who do you think would end up confessing their feelings first?
Good question. Definitely depends upon the iteration and context, but for the most part (at least in my head) getting either of them to confess (and in some cases even ruminate on their feelings and admit to themselves the nature of them) is hard
Like, for example, I personally think that game!Sonic (and post sgw Archie Sonic and IDW Sonic) kind of take Tails' presence for granted in a way. To them, it will always be the two of them (Sonic and Tails). The ideal future is that they keep on hanging out and still fight side by side sometimes and that even if Sonic goes it alone he can always come back from his adventures to chill with Tails or crash at his place. In other words, in Sonic's fantasies of the future, things like getting married or raising families or anything like that are just kind of tacked on as something that will just kind of be true at best and ignored at worst. If he even considers a future where things are a bit different because Tails is togetherā¢ with someone, to him it's only natural that Tails would be in his life the same way and nothing would really change. And so to that end, even if Sonic DOES realize his own feelings, he probably wouldn't see any good reason to confess. It would make things more complicated, especially if Tails doesn't share those feelings, and he doesn't have to worry anyways because Tails will always prioritize the two of them and be at his side, right?
And then it's even worse for versions of Sonic more akin to, say, pre sgw Archie Sonic. This is because in addition to the already existing unwillingness to change things and the assumption that he doesn't ever have to worry about no longer being the center of Tails' world (or a major figure in it at least), there is some palpable internalized homophobia within that hedgehog with an added complexity. For Archie Sonic in particular, I think even if he realized that he wanted to even be with Tails forever in a strictly non brothers fashion, he would feel mixed feelings about that (perhaps that coming out about it would ruin things or make things weird, or that getting together with Tails at any point would deprive him of "normalcy", or that he'd pressured Tails into it, or even just weird or a bit creepy).
As for Tails, I actually think that most iterations of him have figured their feelings out by this point. In all honesty, there's only so long you can go on fixating on someone and admiring them, and structuring your life around them before you realize your "I want to be with them" isn't just about simply admiring them. It's just that Tails' main obstacle to me is the avoidance of ruining anything.
On one hand, there's Sonic's avoidance to being tied down. We've seen time and time again Sonic rejecting people who pursue him openly or looking uncomfortable with them. Archie Sonic in particular made it clear that this version of Sonic couldn't stand the idea of not being able to freely be himself or adventure. He couldn't stand the idea of having to tie himself down and taking on extra responsibilities and expectations simply because he's with someone. I can see Tails being afraid that by confessing, he could scare Sonic away. If he happened to confess and Sonic thought Tails meant to stifle him or Sonic felt uncomfortable by that open expression, wouldn't that risk their relationship? Even if Sonic wouldn't go so far as to drop him as a best friend (which he never would do that for the record), there's still real fear in making things weird or different between himself and Sonic.
And that feeds right into the other hand. On the other hand, Sonic probably doesn't see him that way, right? Though Sonic is special to him and Sonic also cares for him back, at best Sonic has never thought about it and never will, or he just wouldn't feel the same (in Tails' eyes). With Archie Tails in particular, even if Tails gets over his own interlized homophobia about it and recognizes his feelings for what they are, he probably feels that there's no way to be anything different than a brother to Sonic, and thus confessing would be a terrible move. If Tails confesses and Sonic doesn't feel the same, it also runs the risk of making things weird between them or (in Tails' eyes) ruining it.
All this to say that my general opinion is that as long as things stay exactly the way they are forever, even if they start spending even more time together, I find it hard to believe either of the two will opt into confessing on purpose
But, with that being said, a confession is not an impossibility. I don't think either of the two are immune to being put in a position where they finally confess (and no, with the state of things for them, simply saying "I love you" will not count as a confession). And if we barred situations where like. They're literally about to die or one can do anything they like without the other (or themselves) remembering the outcome, I actually can give you an answer
And honestly, if one of them had to confess eventually, I believe it would probably end up being Sonic.
Why? Well, out of the two, Tails actually sits back and thinks about his emotions more often than not. I think even before he figured out the exact nature of his feelings he knew he felt very strongly for Sonic. But, no matter which media you're touching upon, I feel as if Tails fits into that archetype of "person who has been in love with their best friend since literally forever, but knows their best friend will never feel the same". The longer Tails ruminates on these feelings, the stronger he feels them, the more he watches Sonic (especially as someone who cares about plenty of people other than him), the more time he spends with Sonic, the less incentivized he feels to actually confess. Especially if Sonic would never feel the same, the best Tails can hope for is that things stay the same between them and Sonic never replaces his role.
Or in short, Tails is so in his head about it at this point, it's very hard to convince him that confessing is ever a good idea or necessary.
But while Tails is more obviously attached to Sonic, Sonic is much less obviously attached to Tails and other people as a whole. With him being "free as the wind" and the kind of figure he is, he kind of benefits from having the persona of a guy who doesn't need his friends but (nevertheless) can be assisted by them. He probably seems cool for being so strong and independent while equally caring that people live. But this doesn't mean Sonic doesn't have attachments (far from it). Rather, for Sonic, his attachments to others seem to naturally grow. And the more time he spends with them, the more he grows used to their presence. And especially with someone like Tails, who has been around as his companion the longest, he doesn't sit around long enough to consider that Tails would ever leave his side. Once he grows used to that person, he doesn't have to recognize his attachment or even think about the nature of his own feelings because it is and always has been whatever it is. So, in other words, even if he becomes more and more reliant on the fact that Tails will always be around or that Tails will always assist him, he doesn't have to admit more than "This is what our best friendship is. This is what it's like"
All of this is to say that while my idea of present Tails would be trying to do anything in his power to stay with Sonic (as long as Sonic is willing of course), even if that means never confessing the exact nature of his feelings for the hedgehog, Sonic isn't already thinking about these things. This means that while Tails has very few pathways to confession, Sonic has plenty!...if you scare him well enough.
For example, Idw Sonic has been more clearly spending more time with Tails (even baseline just. Crashing at his place more often) after the metal virus arc. Couple this with post neo metal incident 2 electric boogaloo idw Sonic who just wants to have a break and live peacefully for a minute, this is a Sonic who has become scared enough to want to indulge in spending more time with Tails. I also think that post Sonic Prime Sonic is also a version of him who would start to spend more time with Tails than before after having already lost him and having to deal with the Tails shaped hole in his life once.
So, if you got a Sonic to the point where he'd fully accepted his feelings and he felt like confessing them would be necessary to secure the future he wants, then he'd confess. Honestly, the easiest way I'd see this going about would be a story where Tails is framed as leaving him to go do something or be somewhere else, away for Sonic, possibly indefinitely, or if Sonic actually has to spend enough time without Tails after initially telling himself his own feelings wouldn't matter so long as Tails is happy wherever he is. But, if it came down to confessing being something that might actually bring Sonic to his desired future (especially if Tails rejecting him is no different from prolonging the separation they already have if he says nothing), then I think he could work up the courage to do it.
And in the end...I think it has to be Sonic. Although I on occasion enjoy fantasizing about moments where Tails can't take it anymore and confesses, only for Sonic to realize his own feelings in the process, I think that Sonic would have to be the one who confesses his feelings/wishes for the future for Tails to even believe that his pipe dreams are a possibility. I think it's Sonic who would need to pull Tails out of his head, because the probability that Tails works up the courage to confess is more unlikely.
So...yeah. In my head, Sonic is driven to a point where he confesses and pulls Tails out of his head about it.
#sonic the hedgehog#tails the fox#miles tails prower#sontails#unbreakable bond#i just be ramblin#flashoneonetwo interview#long post#In all honesty#I think what's most likely for them (best case at least) is a kind of future where they're more domestic partners who also go on adventures#than anything#Or basically...things are kind of as they are now they've just been growing closer still?#And without intervention or conflict in the form of moving on or adding other people to the mix that may replace the other's standing in#their lives any wayā I can honestly see them never truly confessing or recognizing their relationship for what it is#But then again perhaps if the stars aligned and they borderline had a married with kids relationship and Sonic started joking about them#being together only to realize the truthā¢ then maybe a confession is in order?#Yeah.#On the bright sideā even if they never confessā at least the two of them could be happy and also be happy and content being as they are as#best friends as long as they're by each other's sides and have each other's back forever#And with this as a possibilityā even I would not be sad if there wasn't an outright confession#After all...who needs words when you're living your truest life without them?#Anywho#Thank you so much for the ask!#I must admit that I initially was gonna talk about different iterations of them and how a confession may goā but in the end I ended up#explaining my sort of collective sontails thoughts/the general interpretations I have of them#While it is my interpretation/opinion at the end of the day though it does touch my heart that you'd want to knowšš#If you do end up having any other questions pertaining to these two and my opinions/readings or anything elseā do always feel free to shoot#me another ask!!š
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Why do you think s4 lmk is sometimes seen as a drop-off in writing quality compared to earlier seasons?
IS IT REALLY. That's so funny, I personally think s4 elevated lmk's writing to unbelievably high levels. It recontextualized previous seasons in ways that cemented my faith in lmk's writing team, and proved to me that this wasn't just going to be good, it was going to be GREAT, an honest to god masterpiece.
I find that the more complex the writing, when things like love and devotion aren't put into "good" or "bad" boxes, when characters are hypocrites and things develop in a way people don't like (it doesn't make them "feel good" but the writing itself is solid), that's when people start to say things like "the writing's gotten worse". I've seen plenty of takes for characters like Wukong and Viren (from The Dragon Prince), where folks want to boil down the mess and the complexity into "the writers don't know how to write this character," when the truth is the opposite. Sometimes, characters say one thing and do another and that's on purpose, thank you. Sometimes, characters mean well and have good intentions, but they still suck. Writing like that is fucking awesome.
(Big Owl House rant incoming, turn back now if you're not interested in that)
It's not really a surprise to me that something like The Owl House, where the characters are fairly one note and everything is said out loud and the themes are much more simplistic, is/was far more popular. Obviously, I don't want to shame anyone or make people feel bad for loving tohālike it's great if you love it, keep doing thatābut I do think that objectively, toh has pretty weak writing (which honestly doesn't/doesn't have to determine how much you love it).
I was discussing this with a few friends last night, how with toh, the implications are hardly thought through, and characters aren't viewed beyond the role they can serve in the episode or the arc. Like, I think of the beginning of Hollow Mind, where King says "No one wants to believe they've spent their life following the wrong person", which is fine, it's something that could be interesting given the proper execution, but when you analyze it deeper, try to find the consistent character thread...it doesn't make any actual sense for King or the development he went through at the beginning of s2. Had he said something along the lines of "No one wants to believe they've spent their life following a lie", now THAT ties directly into the lie he believed for his whole life, and to King as a character. But that's not what happened, and that's never what happened in toh.
Even with Belos, the main villain, it's clear the writers wanted Grim Walker angst for Hunter, but they didn't want to explore the implications of Belos recreating his brother over and over again. So at that point, it's like...why not just have Hunter be adopted? Why have him be a grimmwalker at all if it's not something we're going to explore deeper on Belos' end?
Needless to say, lmk isn't like that. If a character has dialogue or a scene, it's going to contribute to our perception of them and their internal motivations. If Pigsy is worried about his relation to his ancestors in s4, and what that says about him, we can actually trace that back to 2x04: tradition matters to Pigsy, and it's a huge part of his heart, identity, and life. Of COURSE Pigsy is affected when he learns his ancestor was someone he doesn't like, someone who tried to eat the love of his life. He even tries to comfort MK with what he thinks is a shared experience, and it's AGH. It's so good
If something is established in lmk, it's expanded upon. Hell, even the Mayor of all characters was given his own spotlight outside of LBD. He even has a direct parallel to Azureāfollowing and giving service to an Emperor before becoming disillusioned and changing loyalty to the person that will bring about real change: their Lady and their King.
Anyways,
I went on a super long tangent. I can't truly know why some people think of lmk s4 as a drop-off in writing quality, but those are some thoughts from me to you!
#*sips drink* I could talk about lmk forever#I have so many fucking asks I need to get to them#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk analysis#lmk meta#toh critical#asks#anon#still thinking about the person who sent me a hate anon over tagging something ''nimona critical''#like yeah man. sometimes people don't want to see hate or criticism for the things they love#I DO THAT SO PEOPLE CAN BLOCK TAGS IF THEY DON'T WANT THAT ON THEIR DASH#LIKE PLEASE
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I've seen alot of takes from both toxic fh truthers and fh shippers that Scott will never ever get over Jimmy and will obsess over him until he dies forever which. I don't fault anyone for asserting considering that fucker has two jokes and one of them is lolol remember fh But. I think there's something to be said about how Scott has shown time and time again he really is not in love with any personal qualities Jimmy possesses (quite the opposite actually, he seems to find Jimmy obnoxious more often than not during third life including when Jimmy is not really even doing anything) but is rather entranced with the romantic fantasy that Jimmy brings.
Jimmy is, after all, young and pretty and in love and someone he feels relies on him and lets him feel useful so it's not hard to assign him as husband and leave it at that. I don't think Scott is quite in love with Jimmy tbh but I do think he's very much in love with his husband (jimmy). If that makes sense.
With that in mind, I think it's then fascinating when you look at the universes where FH assumably never existed or where he is able to find a replacement for his romantic fantasy relationship. Witchcraft Scott has Milo and Rat Scott has his weird platonic(????) thing with Owen and Pirate Scott focused on his brother instead, Scott tends to actually move on pretty well and adjust to being more. Chill.
Now then if I said last life Scott almost got to this point with his thing with GGG and Pearl specifically challenging his worldview. And then he fucked it all up. Then
#random thoughts#he could've been buddies with pearl forever it could have been so awesome!!!!!!!#RL galaxy duo is not awesome to me btw to me that was like. Post SL ābecause I love youā Scott filtering Pearl back into his system#like okay I've figured out a way I can think about you without making myself emotionally vulnerable you can exist in my world again yayyy <#RL is non canon to me for alot of reasons but pearls behaviour there is like. A big reason like she was very clearly not locked in#Which is like. Of course fine and awesome it's a fucking April Fools episode but yeah it's like a spin off movie or OVA to me. One of those#That happens at a super hazy time in the timeline where when you ask the creators they're just like ehh uhhnhuhm ehh.#Anyway yeah I could talk more about Why scott desperately needing his romantic fantasy to stay alive with#Jimmy is so so sad to me. Smth smth homophobia fucked him up I think but in the opposite direction it did with Joel#Mf really just needs to be vulnerable trust me guys. Fixable guy. Redeemable guy. Good guy at heart. Guys please.
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Iām just. Just thinking about how the ASL brothers might have different feelings on Dadan and her hut.
Like for starters Ace. Dadan is the woman who raised him though letās be real he probably heard every step of the way how she never wanted to, how he was a burden on her. That piled on with the whole Rogerās offspring never should have existed, probably never made for a good pairing. But the funny thing with children is. A part of them, especially when young and developing want to make their caretaker happy and so. Maybe thatās why Ace was so independent from a young age. Being out of the house and caring for yourself meant he wouldnāt be a burden. Meaning Dadan would be happy. Though being alone also means he doesnāt have to listen to her or the others talk behind his back either.
Then after the fires. I think it clicked in his and her head of what they mean to each other. After all. Dadan says these horrible things about him yet she saves him from the fire and Bluejam pirates. Heās heard her say all this terrible things since he could remember and he patches up and care for her wounds carrying her home. I think after the fires. Ace really registers that Dadan is safe. And thatās why after Sabo left he and Luffy didnāt build their forts far in the privacy of the forest but right at her side. Because sheās safe.
Then thereās Luffy. Unlike Ace, Luffy to some degree had a stabile home growing up with Makino. Yes the girl was busy and yes she never had time for Luffy. But her bar was always open to him and she would always be there caring for him. Luffy knew what security was. And he also knew security came in all shapes and sizes. After all the red haired pirates were scrappy drunkards that would pester, tease, bully and heckle him any chance they got. But they cared for Luffy and he knew it. Shanks lost his arm for Luffy to keep him safe. So the bandits behaviour probably never threw him off. But the fact they were BANDITS did. You canāt blame him. His first traumatic experience that was a big part in the shaping of his childhood was caused by bandits.
But every day he came home battered, beaten, muddied, bruised. And just like Makino they would al patch him up. And just like Shankās crew, would tease torment and bully him. Luffy knew they were safe from day one, and really he probably doesnāt think of her as a mother but she is still definitely family. She when he left on his journey. The fact they were bandits to him just meant they werenāt as cool as pirates. But she was still the best damn bandit in the world.
And finally Sabo. He actually has very little interaction with Dadan throughout the whole flashback besides farting while she talks and sharing a meal. But honestly that quick ease around her made me think. For someone who had such shitty absentee parents and then raised himself on the streets for at least months maybe even years. He was soā¦ trusting? Sure heās ten, and ten year olds arenāt really that suspecting of the world yet. But of someone of the background, it strikes me as odd.
Do you think he had heard about Dadan from Ace? Like come on, preteens be preteens. Surly Ace has arrived whining about Dadan and her bandits and to Sabo, tales of fighting for each meal. Being literally thrown into a bath tub and her screeching at other bandits and things probably sounds crazy, surreal, like a dream. Heād never say heās jealous of Ace. After all he knows Dadan isnāt the best but a āfamilyā that talks to you must have sounded amazing. Sabo fit right in at Dadanās hut because this was the family he had always wanted. And even if for a little while he got to treasure.
#yeah I hurt myself with this one chief#if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes suck my digital dick#asl brothers#portgas d ace#monkey d. luffy#one piece sabo#curly dadan#asl brothers headcanons#iām so normal about them#look I love dadan but she is not a good mother.#but sheās the best they got and they love her#WHATS A GIRL GOTTA DO TO GET A GOOD FIC ON HER#rambles#one piece#one piece headcanons#I could talk about these fuckers forever#and I will continue to do so
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Tell me a fun Bill and Ted fact? I know nothing about them really
Bill and Ted is such a fascinating franchise to me bc it's Super Obvious that a majority of people's awareness of it begins and ends with the first movie - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure - and yet there is so much to uncover about these dudes. There are three films, one novelization, like 7 comic series, a cartoon that ran for 2 seasons, a musical, a live action show that ran for 7 (bad) episodes, like 3 video games, and a pretty longstanding run as a Halloween Horror Nights show.
They're also extremely fun characters because there's like, such a prevalent tendency to generalize their character types, but they're actually Super specific personalities. Like, Bill and Ted don't ever use the words 'rad' or 'bro' nor any 'surfer lingo' or 'valley speak', they're not ever sarcastic/ironic they're like Painfully earnest constantly (the writers even specified that Bill and Ted are "these innocents who would wander wide-eyed into any situation and treat everyone exactly the same - completely open, completely friendly" and the Director also refers to the 'Puppy Factor' wrt Bill and Ted, meaning they should both "Be like big Labrador Retrievers who just bounce along and love life",) they Do use the word 'dude' nigh constantly BUT people always underestimate how often they'll use each other's names equally as often, and also they're really not slackers or deliberately dismissive of schooling/education - they are trying really hard, they just genuinely struggle/can't learn things right (you can tell they even kind of Value it because they do make an effort to use like, Expanded Vocabulary, it's just that they don't always fully understand the words so they'll use them wrong on accident) - i just love them so much
#'fun' in a way that's like ogh i could talk about it for forever but also the mischaracterization is SO prevalent that i'm like#any time i venture into the tag i'm like losing my mind just a little bit ack#one of my Favorite moments of characterization for them tho is in the third movie when the great leader is like basically#'20 yrs ago you performed this Huge concert at this really fancy venue. and then 2 months ago you performed at some shitty open mic'#and bill and ted are like 'yeah we did!!' and are equally excited about both mentions bc they make NO distinction between the two#and don't consider one to be more or less important than the other bc they just Genuinely like performing music and it doesn't#matter at all to them the context of that performance OR the audience reception to it bc they love music so much that all the rest#is just noise to them - aughhh i love them so much#also AUGH thank you for asking <3#bnt
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This might've been said before, but I just gotta say:
I love the vibe Tmnt 2012 is giving off.
Especially when it comes to the lair and Donnies inventions/gadgets. Everything looks makeshift, but it has its own beautiful charme. Since they cannot show their faces to the city of New York, they have to grab old thrown-out devices and use trash and old spare material to make furniture and gadgets and it's just so realistic, while looking amazing all the same. Like, what do you expect from them, in such a situation?
The lair is easily one of my favorite fictional headquarters ever. Like yes, it's an abandoned subway station, but it still looks homey in my opinion. Not gonna lie, I would instantly feel at home if I visited. The family tried to make it cozy to the best of their abilities and I think they truly succeeded.
Whatever that kitchen table was in its former life, it now serves its purpose as a table and it looks amazing as it does so.
And the bedrooms?? I love them so much?? So makeshift, so beautiful. And don't get me started on Donnies lab, because I am obsessed with the way it looks. Like yeah, maybe the lair is lacking some color, but what do you expect from a family with limited abilities in interior design? It's truly realistic looking in the coolest way and I cannot stop talking about it.
Although I probably should.
Also Donnies inventions. The Shellraiser has to be my favorite fictional vehicle ever.
The cool graffiti on the outer shell?? Its ability to drive on train tracks and the street?? THE DAMN TRASH CANNON?? THE MANHOLE COVER CANNON???? They literally grabbed trash, compressed it and used it as a weapon. Donnie came up with this. Donnie drew blueprints for this thing and then built it. This man can build functioning vehicles and devices from trash.
The most impressive thing? He taught all of this himself. All of his knowledge probably comes from books and experience and later on certainly also from the internet. He's too powerful and he deserves credit for this.
Sorry, I just wanted to ramble about the 2012 gadgets and lair for a bit. I love the makeshift-ness of it all. I love how you can truly see, that the furniture is old and used. It gives the show the true Tmnt charme. It's the type of lair you'd expect some mutant turtles and their rat father to live in.
I'm not the best at explaining things, so I hope you get the point, lmao.
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#tmnt 2012#tmnt rambles#tmnt ramblings#tmnt 2k12#tmnt 2012 rambling#Everything about this show is just so YEAH#I could talk about the inventions forever#Loving Metalhead so much too#the stealth bike and the patrol buggy? hell yeah#THE T-PHONES GUYS#Donnies laptop??? it's so rad???
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